Sunday, February 27, 2011

Defining the girl in me...

  Growing up, I knew my Mom was kind of a hippie.  But she was really girly, too, and she liked girly things.  She had rollers for her hair, a really cool hairdryer you wore on your head, a manicure/pedicure box full of fun stuff, lipstick, Chanel No. 5 for special occasions.....I'm telling you, she was a ton of fun for 4 little girls.  But she also built a Navajo loom in the master bedroom so she could also teach herself to weave on it.  She built a flagstone patio outside her bedroom door.  She did all our laundry in a clawfoot tub on the deck when the washing machine was broken. She gardened and baked bread and made tofu and sprouted seeds on the window sill.
  She was also a dance teacher and I remember my first couple of revues, at a very young age, being so excited to wear my costumes because my mother had designed them with ribbons and gold sparklies and feathers....oh my!  (And I knew I was probably going to get to put on some lipstick for it, too.) My Mom has been known to sit at the sewing machine for HOURS on rainy days with fabric remnants out of her scrap-bag making clothes for our dolls. And I mean, the cutest little clothes. Flannel nighties, jeans, hippie caftans...my Barbies were stylin'.  She sewed my favorite Halloween fairy princess costume of all time out of some gauzy curtains and a pink negligee she found in a thrift store. My mom was the perfect balance, to me, of frilly and earthy.  She was not always comfortable with all her facets, but I think that she has learned what I have learned by watching her; we do not have to define ourselves so that we wind up in a box.  I'm glad I had that role model....a mom who was a total Barbie girl but who would also teach me how to build and cook on a campfire and pitch an umbrella tent.
  My friend made the comment recently that Americans should 'own your parenting'. Because my mother was so active in our upbringing and available as a role model, It's not likely that I ever would have seen Barbie as an example of unattainable perfection.  I could see first-hand that just because you come in a shining pink box, prefectly wrapped, doesn't mean that one day you aren't going to wake up in the dirt with tangled hair, grateful that your mother taught you how to dig a proper latrine.  The Dreamhouse is fun, but it's a real adventure when you can fit everything you need for 4 days in your backpack, spend some real money on the best shoes you can find for the occasion and head out into the wilderness.  (And don't think for a second that you aren't going to need a plan for how to wear your hair after 3 days of no showers.)
  I woke up to a foot of new snow on the ground this morning.  I'm not a lover of snow, although I have hiked in it and I have dug myself out of my driveway a number of times.  I will do what I have to do.  My first HAPPY thought when it snows? "Yay, today I get to wear my pink snowboots!"  I did all my grocery shopping yesterday and there's pot roast in the crock pot.  We can hunker down and not go out at all if we don't want to. But maybe I'll go outside later just to wear my boots.

Proverbs 31
  15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Social Disproportion

  If scaled into real life proportions, Barbie would be 5 feet, 9 inches, (1.75 m) measuring 36-18-33. According to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, she would lack the requisite 17 to 22 percent of body fat required to menstruate.
    Source(s): Lord, M.G. Forever Barbie: The Unauthorized Biography of a Real Doll. New York: William Morrow and Company,
Inc., 1994.


     It has come to my attention over the past 10 years or so that there are parents who have decided not to allow their daughters to own and play with Barbie dolls.  I've heard several apologetics for this decision and they have all left me scratching my head.  It seems the majority of parents are concerned about their daughters adopting a distorted idea of how their bodies should look and then feel inadequate by comparison to Barbie.  Really?  Barbie?  Barbie is cute and girly and pink, but let's face it; the poor girl is proportionately imbalanced and if she were real, would probably be suffering from some health problems. BUT Barbie has managed to overcome this handicap, or deformity, and represents a life of adventure, diversity and femininity in spite of her shortcomings.
     Barbie has all the right gear for every occasion. Over the years I have seen Barbie play sets with every imaginable type of sporting, recreational, holiday or social event played out with all the accessories and the things that make the most of every experience. Many hours were spent with my Barbies fixing their hair, sewing new clothes, hunting for "the other shoe to this pair" or the right boots or bag "to go with this jacket."  It was hours of imaginary fun with lots of daydreaming about what kind of wardrobe I would have when I could buy my own clothes someday.  Barbie inspired me to draw my own paper dolls and design pages and pages of clothes for them with matching accessories.  Just me, my colored pencils, my scissors and some glue and cardboard and I would be obsessed for hours. Barbie inspired me to clean my room and organize my closet and dresser drawers.  She inspired me to smell good and wear things that went together and to dress appropriately for the occasion. She inspired me to do my own hair.
     She also taught me that just because you do not have a perfect body or a good hair day every day or the right shoes for your outfit because one got sucked into the Hoover last Saturday does NOT mean that you can't leave the house smiling with some sparkle.  I leave the house in the morning with a "TO DO" list in my head and I don't care if it sounds childish, I feel more vibrant and energetic if I'm wearing pink or something that has a little sparkle to it because I have learned that pink MAKES ME HAPPY.  I feel like I can accomplish whatever I need to that day because I ROCK at being the unique woman I was created to be. 
     I don't have a daughter, but if I did, I would talk to her about why it is AWESOME being a girl and how much fun it can be to find something that really takes your breath away because it's SO BEAUTIFUL.  In American society it is completely acceptable for girls to wear pink at any age, to cry in public, to go nuts over flowers and sunsets and to skip and do cartwheels whenever moved to do so.  Boys have a much harder time socially with that kind of expressiveness without having their sexuality questioned. Girls are also allowed to go nuts over a football team, their favorite sports car, a great pair of athletic shoes and their dogs. We get the best of both worlds, so why not celebrate that? The possibilities for enjoying life are endless. I would want my daughter to know that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to as a woman and if she ever starts to believe otherwise, she is buying into a lie.
     I strongly disagree with Barbie being a negative role model.  She is an American icon and has gone on to make an impression on the world. There is something to be said for Barbie's longevity and popularity.  Girls of all ages are attracted to role models who give them permission to dream.  If you give your daughter a Barbie and tell her that doll is the most beautiful girl ever made and force her to make a comparison between Barbie and herself, you will have hurt your daughter, not Mattel Corporation.  Barbie is not a stereotype.  Barbie dispels the stereotype.  She's just a girl who isn't afraid to play up her strong points and grab life by the horns. Maybe she knows one thing for certain.....the men aren't going to make it all happen by themselves.

  But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
  The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man."